He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Every concussion has its silver lining
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
