whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
