I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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