Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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