Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
