SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
