real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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