I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We have started to decorate penises.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
