We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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