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its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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