Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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