I am full of burrito and curiosity
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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