You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
