FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
MIDGETS
????
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
