awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
