just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
