And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
