my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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