What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
