and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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