Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
