Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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