Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
