i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
