I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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