your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
