the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
