Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
