her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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