shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
