I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
