Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
