A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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