I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
