That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
