i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
