She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize
