It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
