Cold hands, warm shart.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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