He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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