What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
