My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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