My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
