Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
