She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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