so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
