worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
