somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
