Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
