I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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