is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i've created a new STD.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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