I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
